We both fuck this letter of the alphabet has been a long time coming . Or at least I did , starting around the meter The Riddler nobble those ichthyologists from Gotham University and storm them to custom - strain hammerhead sharks with question - marking - shaped heads . The nightwatchman at that deepwater crossword teaser mill owe you his living .
But here ’s the matter — you never left that deepwater crossword puzzle mill . Mentally , I think of . Once the flashbulbs died down and the ink dried on Vicki Vale ’s eve version write - up for the Gotham Gazette , your thought remained perpetually out at sea .
And when we made love that nighttime , you were wordlessly preoccupied with the remote possibility that somewhere , somehow Two - Face was grafting 50 % of a megamouth on to 50 % of a cookiecutter . ( How do I know this ? We never agree on “ megacookie ” as a safeword . )
So yes , no more sleeping alone . No more gin rummy - fueled shouting mates during Shark Week . No more fault your “ caped employer . ” I ’m leaving the widow woman ’s walk . I ’m leaving you .
thing were n’t always like this . When we first suffer age ago , you seemed so effervescent , so fizzy , almost bursting at the seams with energy . I had no hint at the time that you were only ride the highs of early life history triumph .
What ’s more , you were versatile — so much so , that you accompanied your honcho on tripsto exotic locales . Your coworkers ’ careersstayed on the ledge , but you always came through in a touch .
Eventually a tinge of you was all your employer needed . You were so in effect , so exacting , all precise tool , no candid object . When the populace empathise this , and their adulation metamorphosed into tacit acceptance .
You had respect and report , and you had me . You hit your stride , and then it all collapse .
In those heady mean solar day , you ’d cough out wild approximation about your own vocation advancement . Becoming a lasting mending of Gotham Central or Arkham ? No spitballing academic term was too starry - eyed . But when the phone block up ringing , you took that as a preindication of your own weakness . You could n’t understand that time were change . The business enterprise had germinate . Back then , it was great whites stoned to the branchia on Smilex gasoline . Now it wasout - of - control Ecstasy dealers .
Your caper became a duty . Your obligation became a watch . Do you know how many dinners I ate alone because of a creeping suspicion that somebody filled Jim Gordon ’s condo with makos ? You missed our day of remembrance twice because you bet that “ Mr. Freeze is out there , weaponizinghákarl . ” And when Poison Ivy genetically engineered that species of carnivorous sargassum , the forensic write up leave you so chopfallen I did n’t hear from you for three Day .
Remember when we tried to see that therapist ? You could n’t go because you of a hunch Scarecrow might endeavor to terrify “ a obsessed hayride — a haunted hayride on gondolas . ” When I asked if that was even a thing , you harangued me about “ ignoring the danger to the innocent children , the danger that is thresher sharks whose hindquarters have been replaced with farming scythes . ” This conversation happened in late July .
Even your party boss begin to detect your whimsicality . You once spent an entire week shadowingMr . Polka - Dotbecause an anon. tout in the Crime Alley Tattler purportedly saw him snooping around the Gotham Sturgeon Festival . GCPD immediately confirm it wasCrazy Quiltpanhandling for unaffixed cigarettes , but you were too unregenerate . LikeJimmy McNulty , you needed one more mending of glory .
And while you were tilting at wind generator , your chief got in a whole mess of fuss . And pretend what ? He draw by without you . In fact , he ’s supervise jolly well ever since .
Consider this — you know how your boss always pointedly invite you to Justice League confabs ? Aquaman give ear those meetings . And why did the Justice League hire Aquaman ? To telepathically sway sharks into not attacking the only non - superpowered person in the club . You see where I ’m going with this ?
expect , I do n’t want to hurt you . I do n’t want to dredge up the past . I just need to go , far from insecure , frenetic pillow talk aboutthe subpar geomorphology of barracudasand whether or not Kite Man could teach a basking shark to parafoil . I ’m decrepit , and you ’re haunt with wobbegongs .
You once suppose that you ’d do anything for me , even sort of confuse Calendar Man ’s Arbor Day Megalodon for a few minute of arc . If that is truly the case , let me go . Just let me go . These Bat - times are not the same , and the Bat - channel has turned the final time .
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