Not all alien visitations look like a giant saucer condescend from the skies . Sometimes aliens just await like visitors of a different kind , as in this Greco-Roman tale by Pat Cadigan . The other 24-hour interval , we feature Cadigan ’s essay about loving the Other — now here ’s her fib “ Angel , ” as feature in the raw anthology Alien Contact .
Top epitome : Angel by ~ UnKn0wns on Deviant Art
Stand with me for a while , Angel , I said and Angel say he ’d do that . Angel was good to me that direction , adept to have with you on a cold night and nowhere to go . We stood on the street corner together and watched the cars snuff it by and the great unwashed and all . The street were lit up like Christmas , streetlights , computer storage lights , marquees over the all - night pic house and bookstore blinking and flash ; cannon of the even in east midtown . Angel was getting used to things here and getting used to how I did , Night . Standing out of doors , because what else are you going to do . He was my Angel now , had been since that other cold night when I ’d been going home , because where are you become to go , and I ’d found him and took him with me . It ’s safe to have someone to take with you , someone to look after . Angel knew that . He started looking after me , too .
Like now . We were standing there awhile and I was seem around at nothing and everything , the cars cruising by , some of them stopping now and again for the streetwalker posing by the curb , and then I saw it , out of the nook of my center . hooey coming out of the Angel , shiny like sparks but flow like liquidness . smooth-spoken fireworks . I turned and looked all the way of life at him and it was gone . And he turn and gave a little grin like he was abashed I ’d seen . Nobody else saw it , though ; not the short hombre who intermit next to the Angel before queer the street against the light , not the scraggy plug look to sell the boom - boxwood he was acquit on his shoulder , not the homeboy swagger past us with both his girlfriends on his arms , nobody but me .
The Angel said , Hungry ?
Sure , I said . I ’m athirst .
Angel looked past me . Okay , he said . I look , too , and here they amount , three leather boys , bill cap , belts , boots , keyrings . On the sail together . Scary clobber , even though you make love it ’s not looking for you .
I said , Them ? Them ?
Angel did n’t answer . One went by , then the second , and the Angel stopped the third by taking grip of his arm .
Hi .
The guy nodded . His head was shaved . I could see a picayune grayish - black stubble under his crown . No supercilium , disinterested eye . The eyes were because of the Angel .
I could use a little money , the Angel said . My friend and I are thirsty .
The guy put his hand in his sack and wiggled out some circular , propose them to the Angel . The Angel selected a twenty and closed the guy rope ’s deal around the rest .
This will be enough , thank you .
The guy put his money by and waited .
I hope you have a good night , aver the Angel .
The guy nod and walked on , move across the street to where his two admirer were await on the next corner . Nobody observe anything weird about it .
Angel was grin at me . Sometimes he was the Angel , when he was doing something , sometimes he was Angel , when he was just with me . Now he was Angel again . We expire up the street to the luncheonette and take a seat by the front windowpane so we could still determine the street while we run through .
Cheeseburger and fries , I said without irritate to look at the plastic - covered card lie on top of the serviette bearer . The Angel nod .
Thought so , he said . I ’ll have the same , then .
The waitress arrive over with a small flyspeck pad to take our order . I cleared my throat . It seemed like I had n’t used my voice in a hundred yr . “ Two cheeseburgers and two fries , ” I say , “ and two cups of — ” I looked up at her and froze . She had no typeface . Like , nothing , clean from hairline to chin up , soft picayune incision where the eye and olfactory organ and rima oris would have been . Under the table , the Angel kicked me , but gentle .
“ And two cup of deep brown , ” I pronounce .
She did n’t say anything — how could she?—as she write down the rescript and then walk away again . All shaken up , I looked at the Angel but he was serene like always .
She ’s a new arrival , Angel told me and tilt back in his chair . Not enough clock time to develop a face .
But how can she take a breather ? I said .
Through her pore . She does n’t need much line yet .
Yah , but what about — like , I mean , do n’t other people remark that she ’s got nothing there ?
No . It ’s not such an extraordinary condition . The only understanding you notice is because you ’re with me . sure things have fray off on you . But no one else notices . When they look at her , they see whatever face they expect someone like her to have . And eventually , she ’ll have it .
But you have a side , I enounce . You ’ve always had a side .
I ’m different , enunciate the Angel .
You certainly are , I thought , looking at him . Angel had a beautiful face . That was n’t why I took him home that Nox , just because he had a beautiful aspect — I left all that behind a long time ago — but it was there , his sweetheart . The way you think of a Isle of Man being beautiful , just clean lines , deep - set eyes , ageless . About the only style you could describe him — look aside and you ’d draw a blank everything except that he was beautiful . But he did have a boldness . He did .
Angel shifted in the chair — these were like somebody ’s one-time kitchen chairs , you could n’t get too comfortable in them — and shook his heading , because he knew I was think turbulent thoughts . Sometimes you could retrieve something and it would n’t be disruptive and afterward you ’d think the same matter and it would be tumultuous . The Angel did n’t like me to be troubled about him .
Do you have a cigarette ? he asked .
I cerebrate so .
I patted my jacket and total up with most of a plurality that I pass on over to him . The Angel light up and amused us both by having the roll of tobacco do out his spike and trickle out of his eyes like ghostly tears . I felt my own eyes watering for his ; I wipe them and there was that stuff again , but from me now . I was crying silvern fireworks . I ruffle them on the table and watch them huff out and vanish .
Does this mean I ’m getting to be you , now ? I expect .
Angel shake his head . Smoke wafted out of his hair . Just things rubbing off on you . Because we ’ve been together and you’re — susceptible . But they ’re unlike for you .
Then the waitress brought our food and we went on to another sequence , as the Angel would say . She still had no face but I guess she could see well enough because she put all the plate down just where you ’d think they were supposed to go and left the tiny picayune halt in the heart of the table .
Is she — I mean , did you know her , from where you —
Angel gave his top dog a abbreviated little shake . No . She ’s from somewhere else . Not one of my — people . He pushed the cheeseburger and fries in front of him over to my side of the mesa . That was the way it was done ; I did all the eating and somehow it worked out .
I pick up my cheeseburger and I was bringing it up to my oral cavity when my center got all funny and I saw it come up like a whole series of cheeseburgers , whoom - whoom - whoom , play a joke on photography , only for real . I closed my eyes and jammed the cheeseburger into my mouth , accommodate it there , expect for all the other cheeseburger to catch up with it .
You ’ll be okay , said the Angel . Steady , now .
I said with my mouth full , That was — that was weird . Will I ever get used to this ?
I doubt it . But I ’ll do what I can to avail you .
Yah , well , the Angel would have intercourse . poppycock rubbing off on me , he could feel it better than I could . He was the one it was rubbing off from .
I had put away my cheeseburger and one-half of Angel ’s and was working on the Gallic fries for both of us when I noticed he was look out the window with this hard , tight expression on his human face .
Something ? I asked him .
Keep eating , he allege .
I kept eating but I kept watching , too . The Angel was staring at a big down car parked at the AMEX in good order outside the diner . It was silvery blue , one of those lots - of - money example and there was a woman kind of lean across from the driver ’s side to count out the passenger windowpane . She was beautiful in that lots - of - money manner , tawny hair swept back from her face and even from here I could see she had turquoise eyes . Really beautiful womanhood . I almost felt like shout . I mean , jeez , how did people get that way and me too harmless to live .
But the Angel was n’t one second glad to see her . I have sex he did n’t want me to say anything , but I could n’t aid it .
Who is she ?
Keep eating , Angel said . We need the protein , what lilliputian there is . I eat and watch the adult female and the Angel watch each other and it was getting very — I do n’t lie with , very something between them , even through the glass . Then a cop car pull up next to her and I knew they were telling her to move it along . She moved it along .
Angel sagged against the back of his chair and lit another cigarette , smoking it in the steady , unremarkable mode .
What are we going to do tonight ? I asked the Angel as we left the eating place .
Keep out of damage ’s way , Angel enunciate , which was a new result . Most Nox we spend just kind of go away around soaking everything up . The Angel pluck it up , mostly . I got some of it along with him , but not the same way he did . It was dissimilar for him . Sometimes he would use me like a form of filter . Other prison term he accept it direct . There ’d been the big car chance event one Nox , in good order at my usual corner , a bad old Buick running a flushed visible radiation smack into somebody ’s nice Lincoln . The Angel had had to take it verbatim because I could n’t handle that form of clobber . I did n’t know how the Angel could take it but he could . It carried him for day afterwards , too . I only had to rust for myself .
It ’s the chroma , little booster , he ’d say me , as though that were supposed to excuse it .
It ’s the intensity , not whether it ’s good or spoiled . The universe does n’t eff good or high-risk , only less or more . Most of you have a speculative prison term conciliate this . You have a bad time with it , little friend , but you get through better than other people . possibly because of the direction you are . You got crush out of a lot , you have n’t had much of a chance at life . You ’re as much an expatriate as I am , only in your own land .
That may have been true , but at least I belonged here , so that part was easier for me . But I did n’t say that to the Angel . I think he liked to think he could do as well or better than me at last — I stand for , I could n’t just look at some leather male child and get him to cough up a twenty dollar sign bill . Cough up a fist in the face or worse , was more like it .
Tonight , though , he was n’t doing so in force and it was that char in the car . She ’d thrown him out of step , kind of .
Do n’t think about her , the Angel state , just out of nowhere . Do n’t think about her any more .
Okay , I tell , finger creepy because it was creepy when the Angel got a glance of my head . And then , of line , I could n’t call up about anything else scarce .
Do you want to go home ? I asked him .
No . I ca n’t remain in now . We ’ll do the upright we can tonight but I ’ll have to be very careful about the tricks . They take so much out of me and if we ’re keeping out of harm ’s way , I might not be able to make up for a lot of it .
It ’s all right , I said . I ate . I do n’t need anything else tonight , you do n’t have to do any more .
Angel got that look on his brass , the one where I knew he need to give me things , like feelings I could n’t have any more . Generous , the Angel was . But I did n’t need those impression , not like other citizenry seem to . For a while , it was like the Angel did n’t understand that but he lease me be .
Little friend , he suppose , and almost extend to me . The Angel did n’t reach a flock . I could touch him and that would be o.k. but if he allude somebody , he could n’t help doing something to them , like the craft that had give us the money . That had been deliberate . If the trade had adjoin the Angel first , it would have been different , nothing would have happened unless the Angel touched him back . All touch meant something to the Angel that I did n’t realize . There was touch without affecting , too . Like things scratch off on me . And sometimes , when I did touch the Angel , I ’d get the tactual sensation that it was maybe more his musical theme than mine , but I did n’t mind that . How many citizenry were going their whole lives never being capable to touch an Angel ?
We walked together and all around us the street was really coming to animation . It was getting colder , too . I attempt to make my jacket cover more . The Angel was n’t feeling it . Most of the metre hot and insensate did n’t mean much to him . We view the three rough trade guys again . The one Angel had gotten the money from was get into a car . The other two watch it drive away and then walked on . I appear over at the Angel .
Because we took his twenty , I said .
Even if we had n’t , Angel say .
So we went along , the Angel and me , and I could find how different it was tonight than it was all the other nights we ’d walk or brook together . The Angel was kind of pull out back into himself and it seemed to be observe a impediment on me , promote us closer together . I was getting more of those fireworks out of the corner of my eyes but when I ’d turn my read/write head to look , they ’d vanish . It remind me of the night I ’d get the Angel fend on my recession all by himself in pain . The Angel told me afterwards that was real natural endowment , knowing he was in pain . I never thought of myself as any too gifted but the way everyone else had been just ignoring him , I pretend I must have had something to see him after all .
The Angel discontinue us several feet down from an all - night bookstore . Do n’t look , he said . Watch the dealings or gaze at your feet , but do n’t await or it wo n’t happen .
There was n’t anything to see right then but I did n’t look anyway . That was the means it was sometimes , the Angel distinguish me it made a difference whether I was determine something or not , something about the other people being witting of me being witting of them . I did n’t see but I knew Angel was usually proper . So I was observe dealings when the guy came out of the bookshop and get his principal plug .
I could almost see it out of the corner of my eye . A mass of movement , arms and legs fly and grunty noise . Other people stopped to reckon but I kept my eyes on the dealings , some of which was slowing up so they could check out the fight . Next to me , the Angel was steady all over . Taking it in , what he call the expenditure of emotional kinetic energy . No right , no wrong , piddling friend , he ’d tell me . Just energy , like the rest of the macrocosm .
So he take it in and I felt up him taking it in and while I was feel it , a variety of silver fog started creeping around my eyeballs and I was in two position at once . I was watching the dealings and I was in the Angel watching the fight and feeling him charge up like a big battery .
It feel like nothing I ’d ever felt before . These two bozo slug it out — well , one guy wire doing all the slugging and the other skittering around trying to get out from under the fists and having his head punched but good and the Angel booze it like he was sip at an empty cup and somehow getting it to have something in it after all . Deep inside him , whatever made the Angel go was catch a piffling strong .
I kind of swung back and forth between him and me , or sway might be more like it was . I wondered about it , because the Angel was n’t touching me . I really was getting to be him , I thought ; Angel picked that up and put the thought aside to answer after . It was like I was traveling by the fogginess , being one of us and then the other , for a long clock time , it seemed , and then after a while I was more me than him again and some of the haze cleared by .
And there was that railcar , pointed the other way this meter and the woman was climbing out of it with this big weird smile on her face , as though she ’d won something . She waved at the Angel to come to her .
Bang went the connectedness between us drained and the Angel shot past me , running by from the car . I went after him . I caught a glimpse of her jumping back into the car and yank at the gear shift .
Angel was n’t much of a runner . Something odd about his knee . We ’d live on maybe a hundred feet when he originate wobbling and I could hear him pant . He cut across a Park & Lock that was dark and mostly empty . It was back - to - back with some kind of individual parking lot and the fence for each one tried to note off the same narrow funnies of chunky pavement . They were light to climb but Angel was too panic . He just survive through them before he even think about it ; I know that because if he ’d been thinking , he ’d have want to save what he ’d just bear down up for when he really needed out bad enough .
I had to haul myself over the fencing in the usual direction and when he heard me rattling on the saggy chainlink , he stopped and looked back .
Go , I told him . Do n’t wait on me !
He agitate his head sadly . Little friend , I ’m a fool . I could stand to learn from you a little more .
Do n’t stand , go ! I got over the fencing and caught up with him . get ’s go ! I jerk his arm as I swig by and he followed at a ungainly trot .
Have to obscure somewhere , he said , camouflage ourselves with the great unwashed .
I shook my point , call up we could just run peradventure four more cube and we ’d be at the thruway overpass . Below it were the butt - ends of onetime roads close down off when the freeway had been built . You could shroud there the rest of your liveliness and no one would retrieve you . But Angel made me turn the right way and go down a auction block to this rundown crack - in - the - wall called Stan ’s Jigger . I ’d never been in there — I’d never made it a practice to go into bars — but the Angel was pushing too arduous to argue .
Inside it was smelly and sour and not too happy . The Angel and I run down to the destruction of the bar and fend under a origin - ruby light while he seek his pockets for money .
Enough for one drink apiece , he read .
I do n’t desire anything .
you’re able to have soda or something .
The Angel ordered from the bartender , who was suspicious . This was a place for fixture and nobody else , and certainly nobody else like me or the Angel . The Angel knew that even stronger than I did but he just stood and act to sip his drunkenness without bet at me . He was all pull into himself and I was hovering around the boundary . I knew he was still somewhat panicked and trying to figure out what he could do next . As close as I was , if he had to get really far out , he was going to have a job and so was I. He ’d have to tow me along with him and that was n’t the most hard-nosed thing to do .
Maybe he was sorry now he ’d rent me take him home . He ’d been so weak then and now what with all the filtering and clobber I ’d done , he could n’t just cut me off without a quite a little of pain .
I was prove to figure out what I could do for him when the bartender came back and gave us a expression that meant order or get out and he ’d have like it better if we got out . So would everyone else there . The few other people standing at the bar were n’t looking at us but they know right where we were , like a sore spot . It was n’t hard to visualise out what they mean about us , either , maybe because of me or because of the Angel ’s beautiful nerve .
We got to leave , I suppose to the Angel but he had it in his head this was good camouflage . There was n’t enough money for two more drinks so he smile at the bartender and slue his helping hand across the taproom and put it on top of the mixologist ’s . It was tricky doing it this way ; bartenders and waitresses took more persuading because it was n’t normal for them just to give you something .
The mixologist look at the Angel with his eye half - closed . He seemed to be thinking it over . But the Angel had just blown a lot going through the fencing instead of climbing over it and the awe was scamper his tightness and I just live that it would n’t work . And maybe my knowing that did n’t help , either .
The bartender ’s innocent manus dip down below the cake and came up with a small club . “ fag ! ” he roared and caught Angel just over the spike . Angel slam into me and we both crashed to the floor . Plenty of emotional kinetic vim in here , I thought murkily as the hombre standing at the cake fall on us and I did n’t think anything more as I curled up into a ball under their fists and boot .
We were lucky they did n’t much feel like vote out anyone . Angel went out the door first and they tossed me out on top of him . As soon as I land on him , I screw we were both in trouble ; something was divulge inside him . So much for keep out of harm ’s way . I roll off him and lie on the sidewalk , staring at the sky and render to get my breath . There was blood in my oral cavity and my nose and my back was on fire .
Angel ? I said , after a bit .
He did n’t answer . I felt my head get kind of all loose and fluid , like my head were leak out my ears . I mean about the trade we ’d taken the money from and how I ’d been scared of him and his friends and how whacky that had been . But then , I was too harmless to survive .
The stars were raining silver pyrotechnic down on me . It did n’t assist .
Angel ? I enunciate again .
I roll over onto my side to reach for him and there she was . The railway car was park at the curb and she had Angel under the armpits , dragging him toward the open passenger door . I could n’t tell if he was conscious or not and that scared me . I sat up .
She pause , still have the Angel . We await into each other ’s eye and I started to understand .
“ help oneself me get him into the car , ” she said at last . Her vocalisation sounded surd and flat and abnormal . “ Then you’re able to get in , too . In the back tail end . ”
I was in no shape to take her out . It could n’t have been better for her than if she ’d set it up herself . I get up , the nuisance flaring in me so bad that I almost fell down again and sort of took the Angel ’s ankle . His ankle were so delicate , almost like a woman ’s , like hers . I did n’t really facilitate much except to guide on his feet in as she sit him on the seat and strapped him in with the shoulder harness . I pay back in the back as she carry around to the other side of the railroad car , her steps real light and peppy , like she ’d found a million clam lying there on the sidewalk .
We were out on the freeway before the Angel stirred in the shoulder harness . His header droop from side to side on the back of the rump . I reach up and reach his hair lightly , hoping she could n’t see me do it .
Where are you study me ? the Angel said .
“ For a ride , ” said the cleaning lady . “ For the moment . ”
Why does she talk out loud like that ? I ask the Angel .
Because she knows it vex me .
“ You fuck I can focus my thoughts easily if I say things out loud , ” she said . “ I ’m not like one of your fiddling pushovers . ” She glance at me in the rear view mirror . “ Just what have you gotten yourself into since you left , darling ? Is that a boy or a girl ? ”
I dissemble I did n’t give care about what she said or that I was too harmless to survive or any of that stuff but the elbow room she say it , she meant it to gyp .
Friends can be either , Angel say . It does n’t matter which . Where are you taking us ?
Now it was us . In cattiness of everything , I almost could have smiled .
“ Us ? You intend , you and me ? Or are you really cite to your short pet back there ? ”
My friend and I are together . You and I are not .
The way the Angel said it made me call back he meant more than not together ; like he ’d been with her once the elbow room he was with me now . The Angel allow me know I was right . Silver fireworks set out flowing slowly off his head down the back of the seat and I knew there was something wrong about it . There was too much all at once .
“ Why ca n’t you talk out aloud to me , ducky ? ” the woman enjoin with fakey - sound petulance . “ Just say a few Logos and make me happy . You have a lovely part when you use it . ”
That was true , but the Angel never speak out loud unless he could n’t get out of it , like when he ’d ordered from the barkeep . Which had probably helped the barkeeper resolve about what he think we were , but it was useless to recall about that .
“ All right , ” said Angel , and I knew the strain was awesome for him . “ I ’ve said a few Holy Writ . Are you glad ? ” He swag in the shoulder harness .
“ Ecstatic . But it wo n’t make me have you go . I ’ll drop your pet at the skinny hospital and then we ’ll go home . ” She glanced at the Angel as she drove . “ I ’ve pretermit you so much . I ca n’t stand it without you , without you work things happen . Doing your little miracles . You knew I ’d get addicted to it , all the things you could do to hoi polloi . And then you just took off , I did n’t roll in the hay what had go on to you . And it hurt . ” Her voice plough kind of sorry , like a little nestling ’s . “ I was in existent pain . You must have been , too . Were n’t you ? Well , were n’t you ? ”
Yes , the Angel said . I was in pain , too .
I remembered him standing on my corner where I ’d hung out all that time by myself until he came . stand up there in nuisance . I did n’t know why or from what then , I just took him home and after a little while , the painful sensation go away . When he decided we were together , I guess .
The silvery flow over the back of the gondola seat thickened . I cupped my hands under it and it was like my brain was lighting up with picture . I learn the Angel before he was my Angel in this really decent house , the woman ’s house , and how she ’d take him berth , eating place or stock or parties , conceive at him real hard so that he was all filled up with her and had to do what she wanted him to . Steal sometimes ; other time , weird material , make citizenry do featherbrained things like suddenly bulge out singing or take up their clothes off . That was mostly at the parties , though she made a server she did n’t like burn himself with a commode of coffee tree . She ’d get men , too , through the Angel , and they ’d think it was the with child idea in the earthly concern to go to bed with her . Then she ’d make the Angel show her the others , the one that had been post here the way he had for offense nobody could have understood , like the waitress with no look . She ’d search at them , sometimes endeavor to do things to them to make them uncomfortable or unhappy . But mostly she ’d just stare .
It was n’t like that in the very showtime , the Angel said weakly and I screw he was ashamed .
It ’s fine , I secern him . mass can be squeamish at first , I know that . Then they regain out about you .
The woman laughed . “ You two are so sweet and poor . Like a couple of little children . I guess that ’s what you were look for , was n’t it , darling ? Except children can be brutal , too , ca n’t they ? So you get this — creature for yourself . ” She attend at me in the rearward thought mirror again as she decelerate down a fiddling and for a second I was afraid she ’d seen what I was doing with the silvery material still pouring out of the Angel . It was start to slow now . There was n’t much clip left . I want to scream but the Angel was calming me for what was coming next . “ What happened to you , anyway ? ”
narrate her , articulate the Angel . To stall for fourth dimension , I live , keep her occupied .
I was brook funny , I enunciate . I had both sexes .
“ A hermaphrodite ! ” she exclaimed with veridical pleasure .
She screw addict , the Angel enunciate but she did n’t pay off any attention .
There was an cognitive process but things went untimely . They kept trying to fix it as I generate old but my consistence did n’t have the right kind of chemistry or something . My parents were ashamed . I left after a while .
“ You poor thing , ” she said , not meaning anything like that . “ You were just what darling , here , need , were n’t you ? Just a little nothing , no demands , no desire . For anything . ” Her voice get all hard . “ They could probably pay off you up now , you know . ”
I do n’t require it . I left all that behind a long clock time ago , I do n’t need it .
“ Just the sort of trivial favourite that would be perfect for you , ” she said to the Angel . “ Sorry I have to tear you away . But I ca n’t get along without you now . living is so boring . And empty . And — ” She sounded nonplused . “ And like there ’s nothing more to survive for since you left me . ”
That ’s not me , say the Angel . That ’s you .
“ No , it ’s a lot of you , too , and you know it . You know you ’re addictive to human being , you knew that when you get here — when they charge you here . Hey , you , pet , do you live what his crime was , why they send him to this little backwater punishable colony of a planet ? ”
Yeah , I know , I said . I really did n’t , but I was n’t lead to severalise her that .
“ What do you conceive about that , little favorite neuter ? ” she said gleefully , hitting the accelerator pedal and zip up . “ What do you think of the criminal offence of refusing to twin ? ”
The Angel made a sort of an out loud groan and thrust at the steering roulette wheel . The car trend wildly and I fall rearward , the argent stuff from the Angel go all over me . I essay to keep scooping it into my sassing the way I ’d been doing but it was fly all over the position now . I pick up the crunch as the tires bequeath the road and went onto the shoulder . Something hit the side of the elevator car , probably the precaution rail , and made it fishtail , make me down on the base . Up front the woman was hollo and cursing and the Angel was n’t make a sound but in my caput , I could hear him sort of keening . Whatever come about , this would be it . The Angel had told me all that sentence ago after I ’d taken him home that they did n’t last long after they got here , the exile from his earthly concern and other public . Things tended to happen to them , even if they latch on to someone like me or the woman . They ’d be in chance event or the citizenry here would kill them . Like antibodies in a human being rejecting something or press a disease . At least I belonged here , but it looked like I was blend in to die in a car accident with the Angel and the woman both . I did n’t care .
The car swerved back onto the main road for a few seconds and then cant over to the right again . of a sudden there was nothing under us and then we thumped down on something , not route but malicious gossip or grass or something , fail madly up and down . I pulled myself up on the back of the tooshie just in fourth dimension to see the signaling arrive at us at an slant . The corner of it start to go through the windshield on the woman ’s side and then all I reckon for a long time was the biggest display of silvery fireworks ever .
It was backbreaking to be soft with him . Every move pain but I did n’t want to depart him sitting in the motorcar next to her , even if she was beat . Being in the back arse had observe most of the glass from flying into me but I was still judder some out of my hair and the impact had n’t done much for my back .
I laid the Angel out on the lumpy grass a little ways from the elevator car and looked around . We were maybe a hundred yard from the main road , near a road that ran parallel to it . It was dark but I could still say the sign of the zodiac that had amount through the windscreen and break start the charwoman ’s head in half . It said , CONSTRUCTION AHEAD , thin SPEED . Far off on the other road , I could see a flashing yellow light and at first I was afraid it was the constabulary or something but it stayed where it was and I recognise that must be the construction .
“ Friend , ” whispered the Angel , startling me . He ’d never spoken aloud to me , not directly .
Do n’t mouth , I said , bending over him , prove to envision out some way I could extend to him , just for comfort . There was n’t anything else I could do now .
“ I have to , ” he said , still whisper . “ It ’s almost all gone . Did you get it ? ”
Mostly , I tell . Not all .
“ I meant for you to have it . ”
I have intercourse .
“ I do n’t know that it will really do you any sound . ” His intimation kind of burp in his throat . I could see something besotted and shiny on his sassing but it was n’t silver firework . “ But it ’s yours . you’re able to do as you wish with it . Live on it the way I did . Get what you need when you call for it . But you may live as a human , too . eat on . Work . However , whatever . ”
I ’m not human , I said . I ’m not any more human than you , even if I do belong here .
“ Yes you are , slight admirer . I have n’t made you any less human , ” he said , and coughed some . “ I ’m not disconsolate I would n’t checkmate . I could n’t couple with my own . It was too , I do n’t know , too lilliputian of me , too much of them , something . I could n’t draw together , it would have been nothing but emptiness . The Great Sin , to be unable to give , because the universe know only less or more and I importune that it would be beneficial or bad . So they sent me here . But in the end , you know , they got their way , niggling friend . ” I feel his helping hand on me for a minute before it fell out . “ I did it after all . Even if it was n’t with my own . ”
The bubbling in his throat quit . I sit next to him for a while in the wickedness . in conclusion I felt it , the Angel stuff and nonsense . It was kind of fluttery - churny , like too much burnt umber on an empty tum . I close up my eyes and lay down on the pasture , shivering . peradventure some of it was shock but I do n’t call up so . The silvern fireworks set forth , in my head this time , and with them came a lot of pictures I could n’t understand . stuff and nonsense about the Angel and where he ’d come from and the way they mated . It was a lot like how we ’d been together , the Angel and me . They looked a lot like us but there were a luck of differences , too , thing I could n’t make out . I could n’t make out how they ’d sent him here , either — by light , in , like , little bundles or something . It did n’t make any sense to me but I guessed an Angel could be light . Silver fireworks .
I must have go out or something because when I spread out my eye , it felt like I ’d been lie there a foresightful clip . It was still saturnine , though . I sat up and pass for the Angel , thinking I ought to cover his eubstance .
He was die . There was just a sorting of fuddled sandy stuff where he ’d been .
I attend at the automobile and her . All that was still there . Somebody was die to see it before long . I did n’t want to be around for that .
Everything still anguish but I managed to get to the other road and originate walking back toward the city . It was like I could palpate it now , the direction the Angel must have , as though it were oscillate like a barrel or resound like a bell with all kinds of stuff , people laughing and squall and loving and hating and being afraid and everything else that happens to hoi polloi . The stuff that the Angel took in , zip , that I could take in now if I wanted .
And I knew that taking it in that elbow room , it would be with child than anything all those people had , bigger than anything I could have had if thing had n’t gone wrong with me all those years ago .
I was n’t so sure I want it . Like the Angel , refusing to mate back where he ’d number from . He would n’t , there , and I could n’t , here . Except now I could do something else .
I was n’t so certain I wanted it . But I did n’t guess I ’d be able to halt it , either , any more than I could contain my heart from beating . peradventure it was n’t really such a good thing or a correct thing . But it was like the Angel tell : the universe does n’t recognize good or risky , only less or more .
Yeah . I heard that .
I thought about the waitress with no facial expression . I could incur them all now , all the ones from the other places , other earthly concern that sent them away for some sort of alien crimes nobody would have interpret . I could rule them all . They threw forth their outcasts , I ’d tell them , but here , we keep ours . And here ’s how . Here ’s how you last in a universe that only knows less or more .
I keep walk toward the urban center .
Alien Contact is now available from Nightshade Books .
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